Post Type ArchivesEpisode

#26: Overcoming fear of what others think of you

on June 15, 2009 January 17, 2022 212 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#26: Overcoming fear of what others think of you

00:00 / 41:27

There is a structure of beliefs that support the fear of what others think of you. When you dismantle these beliefs, your fear dissipates, as well as the internal dialog that it drives. In this podcast I guide you through some of the resistance you will probably find when you attempt to overcome your fears.

This podcast probably won’t do every thing you need to strip away your fears, but will help you strip off one of the layers of resistance.

This podcast is part of my series on overcoming fears. When overcoming fears it is not just a matter of letting go of fear. You also have to work through the resistance to letting go of fear. One level of this resistance is the illusion that our fears help us to be safe. The claim I often hear people make is that their fears help them avoid dangers of getting hurt. This appears true, but isn’t. It isn’t the fear that helps us to be safe, but rather the heightened level of awareness that our fear raises that helps us to avoid painful outcomes.

Without awareness, fear could just as well be blinding us from something helpful. When we are in a panic attack our fear doesn’t seem to help us at all. We are so full of fear that we have difficulty seeing our way out.

So it is not the fear that helps us, but the heightened awareness that brings our attention to the situation that is the real help. If you find your self defending fear, then it is likely that you are misunderstanding it’s merits.

You will find practical exercises and steps to overcoming the false beliefs that generate your fears in the Self Mastery online course.

#25: Overcoming controlling behavior of jealousy and anger

on April 6, 2009 January 17, 2022 473 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#25: Overcoming controlling behavior of jealousy and anger

00:00 / 43:59

David started the Self Mastery audio program because he discovered some things about himself that he didn’t like. It was principally the emotions and behaviors of jealousy, anger, and being controlling in relationships. He had been doing it for more than 25 years but was not aware of it. It was difficult to see himself having this problem because David’s belief system masked and justified his behavior as “helping people”. In his mind he was serving and helping people. He was so busy playing the role of the hero that he didn’t see himself behind the mask.

Becoming aware that we have a controlling side of our personality can be painful, but only if we judge our self. However, not making changes in our controlling behavior is even more painful when we realize what it does to the people we love, and the people that love us. Great relationships are based in respect. You can’t be respectful, and believe you know better than someone else at the same time.

The first step in overcoming controlling behaviors of jealousy and anger is to change our perspective. We have to start looking at things differently and see different choices before we can make those choices.

You can listen to the 7 1/2 minute short audio David mentions. It is on the page about Overcoming Jealousy.

You can access the Self Mastery course that David has found as a means for so much personal change by signing up for free.

#24: Fear and origins of the financial crisis

on February 19, 2009 January 17, 2022 187 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#24: Fear and origins of the financial crisis

00:00 / 29:23

I cover how to use awareness to break free of fearful resistance to taking action. Just for fun I also get into understanding origins of the financial crisis. Credit default swaps, lobbying by banks to lower their equity reserve requirements, and speculation is not what caused the financial bubble and subsequent meltdown. These changes in the direction of the economy were actually the results of something else, a system of beliefs based in illusion, and propped up by faith. The problem with bubbles, financial, romantic, or otherwise, is that they originate in the mind as illusions. With enough faith in those illusions we create irrational exuberance, and people lose their commons sense to the hype of emotions generated from being overly optimistic.

Preventing future bubbles will not depend on good laws and government oversight, although that should help. What is really needed is a dose of awareness and skillful skepticism at what is going on in the realm of the imagination in terms of assumptions and beliefs. Skip becoming aware of how your mind creates illusions and we follow self destructive behaviors at your own peril.

It wasn’t just the general public that was caught in illusions. The lobbyists, investment bankers, legislators, were in a world of assumptions when they put laws into place. Unless of course you believe in those conspiracy theories that purport that high level banking types had a master plan in the meltdown. In which case I propose to you that they were lost in even more subtle, and deeply fear based set of illusions.

#23: Dealing with financial fears

on January 22, 2009 January 17, 2022 200 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#23: Dealing with financial fears

00:00 / 27:51

Dealing with and overcoming financial fears isn’t a one-step process. Those fears can be intertwined with real survival needs for the body like food, shelter, and providing for your children. Financial fears can also be from projected scenarios in the imagination that have nothing to do with reality. The imagination is a big source of fears that appear to be irrational. Financial failing can bring up fears related to self image, what others think of us, and self worth. Shedding your financial fears is a multi step process of un-layering beliefs in the mind. I’ve found that breaking free of financial fears is a process that is best addressed in steps. The first step is awareness. The second step is to get hold of your attention.

Some people address their financial fears by trying to amass enough wealth so that they feel financially safe. The assumption is that their money will protect their health, their physical security, and even protect them from emotional suffering. The truth is that no amount of money can protect you from fear. Money doesn’t give your mind immunity from fear, and the false beliefs that cause you to be fearful. In fact, for some people, having more money only exaggerates their financial fears. Wealth will allow you to build physical barriers around you and hire a medical team to assist your health. But the best protection against fear and other emotions of suffering is awareness.

To free your mind from fears, including financial fears, will take more than a good financial plan. It will take awareness and vigilance to keep your mind free from illusions, denial, and false hope that conspire to create emotional suffering.

In this podcast I address issues of denial about our financial situation, addressing resistance, and not judging or blaming our emotions of fear. This just puts a layer of confusion in the mind as to what is happening.

The Self Mastery online program will help you with exercises that raise your awareness, inventory and change your beliefs.It is awareness and consciousness that can free you from fear, not money.

#22: Change your life – interview with Holly

on December 12, 2008 January 17, 2022 179 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#22: Change your life - interview with Holly

00:00 / 34:47

You can change your life, but first, you have to change your beliefs. Beliefs are those mental constructs that drive our emotions of fear and sabotaging behavior. In this interview, I follow up with Holly who I interviewed in early 2007. She has continued to practice the exercises in the Self Mastery Course 1 and added the practices from the Self Mastery Course 2. The result is that she has transformed her emotions from fear to love. That emotional change has impacted her relationships as well.

#21: Fear Doctrine: The creation of anger and agression

on October 29, 2008 January 17, 2022 160 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#21: Fear Doctrine: The creation of anger and agression

00:00 / 1:04:56

Fear is at the core of anger and aggression. Yet we become so busy with the strategy of control and the act of aggression we rarely see the cause. We can see the emotional dynamic at work whether we look at our internal thoughts, relationships, or the macro relationships of countries. The basis if aggression is a primal instinct for survival. Through awareness we can elevate our self to make a different choice, a choice of kindness, compassion, love, and respect. Failure to awaken to this choice will leave humanity in a perpetual state of fear and emotional suffering.

People who choose aggression can be very intelligent. Intelligence is no defense against the insanity of violence. This is true whether that violence and anger takes place in our personal relationships, or international affairs.

A man who is not afraid is not aggressive; a man who has no sense of fear of any kind is really a free, a peaceful man. – Jiddu Krishnamurti

For specific practical exercises to identify and change core beliefs and perceptions of fear practice the work in the Self Mastery online course. The first few exercises are free.

#20: The value of a spiritual teacher or mentor

on July 25, 2008 January 17, 2022 186 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#20: The value of a spiritual teacher or mentor

00:00 / 39:23

If the emotional quality of your life and relationships were solely dependent on how smart you were then you wouldn’t need a teacher. But that isn’t the case. A book can’t teach or model for you self acceptance, respect, love or gratitude. Being happy in this chaotic world isn’t based on how smart you are. Even changing beliefs or negative thoughts isn’t easier because you have a high IQ.

As I explain in this episode, mastering your mind and emotions is more like a skill. Swimming, playing an musical instrument, or flying an airplane are all skills If you wanted to learn any of these skills would you get a coach or mentor? Then if you desired to change your emotional reactions and be happy, wouldn’t it make sense to get some good guidance as well? More about this in this episode.

#19: Understanding the spiritual journey

on June 26, 2008 January 17, 2022 187 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#19: Understanding the spiritual journey

00:00 / 43:28

All self help, personal development, growth, and self awareness work is part of the Spiritual Journey. That’s because Spirit means Life. And all of these endeavors should have an intent to facilitate greater happiness in your life. The mystery of the Spiritual Journey is that it happens within the realm of your perceptions, mind, emotions, and consciousness. There is no common external reference for clear communication. Much of what is passed down often gets distorted into myth and superstition by fear, self importance and ignorance. In spite of all these distortions and illusions the journey continues.

In this audio I attempt to put this in the language of common sense as much as possible.

Topics covered in this episode:

What is the value of ceremony and ritual?
Why reading all those self help and spiritual books won’t help much.
How do you measure your progress?
What is Dreaming?
What is the value of meditation, ceremony, ritual?
What is The Initiation of Death.

I also introduce the important element of your Point of Perception that is the critical element in determining all your beliefs and emotional state. Part of the intent of this podcast was to answer some of the questions I get about what goes on the Spiritual Journeys I lead.

#18: Changing habits and overcoming addictions

on May 17, 2008 January 17, 2022 264 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#18: Changing habits and overcoming addictions

00:00 / 38:02

People attempt to change a habit or addiction by going cold turkey. This often raises the expectation too high and can set a person up for failure if they don’t yet have a lot of personal power or discipline. The result is failing and self judgment. That can lead to more emotional suffering. The alternative is to perceive your addiction or habit as comprising many small habits and then to systematically change those small habits.

Each action we take that is negative or self destructive is based in a false belief. That belief is only powerful because you put your faith in that idea. The conceptual idea could be the idea that we are not worthy, lovable, or that we are smarter than someone else. We then act, on that belief in a way of action, or inaction. These actions or inactions often become habits because we maintain the same beliefs. When those habits are self destructive, and we have difficulty changing them we call them addictions.

When you change the core beliefs behind an action, it becomes easy to change the habit. The steps to changing a habit or addiction are:

Awareness and perception: You can not change what you are not aware of.
Desire: If you have no desire to make change, then you will take no action.
Intent and commitment: Your intent is the channeling of that desire towards a new expression or action that involves change.
New action: A new action will replace your old habit. Sometimes that action might just be refrain.
Manage expectations: If you set the bar too high, or have not prepared your self for your actions, you can fail. That will usually lead to self judgment.
Acceptance: What will derail your persistence is self judgment. When you judge your self as a failure, you can put your self into a downward emotional spiral. That emotional spiral starts with self judgment, and is broken when you practice self acceptance.
Persistence: Some habits are bigger than others and will take longer to break and replace. You may fall down many times, but it only matters how many times you stand up. Your ability to persist in breaking your habit or addiction, even after you have fallen, will be depend on your awareness, and desire.

The Self Mastery course offers practical exercises in building self awareness, changing beliefs, and self sabotaging habits and addictions.

#17: Self Judgment

on April 7, 2008 January 17, 2022 576 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#17: Self Judgment

00:00 / 31:23

Self Judgment is the most common type of abuse. It’s self-abuse. No one is more critical of you than the voice in your head. If anyone else talked to you the way the Judge in your mind spoke to you, you would fight back or walk away from them. We can’t stop what other people think and say about us, but we can change what we think and say about our self. However, this is easier said than done.

I cover all this in detail in this episode on Self Judgment.

We can tell ourselves we won’t be so hard on our selves, but that rarely changes the dynamic. In actuality, that bit of advice is very often a condemnation of behavior we don’t like. When the self judgment in laced in the advice and good intention, it is like having poison in the medicine.

What does it take to stop being hard your self? In this audio, I break down the belief system behind self-judgment. You’ll be able to see why those negative thoughts keep coming back. In the Self Mastery program I provide a series of exercises that allow you to let go of self-judgment permanently. The first few exercises are free.

#16: Faith and personal power

on January 24, 2008 January 17, 2022 398 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#16: Faith and personal power

00:00 / 29:43

The Importance of Keeping Your Faith

What is Faith? What is a Belief? What is the relationship between your emotions and what you believe? Do thoughts have power? Why it’s not that important to stop your negative thoughts. How can you recover your personal power? How do you heal a broken heart? These are all issues that I address in this episode on Faith.

Faith is a force. It is part of your life force. When you express your faith you are expressing part of your personal power. If you are seeking to develop more personal power, one of the fastest ways is to recover your faith from all the beliefs in your mind you have invested it in. You will find exercises and practices in how to recover the personal power of your faith in the Self Mastery Audio Series. The first several sessions are free.

#15: Finding your self

on August 20, 2007 January 17, 2022 168 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#15: Finding your self

00:00 / 26:55

Finding your self or figuring out who you are is one of those eternal questions. We often struggle with it as teenagers, then again in our thirties, or during a mid-life crisis. The struggle to know thy Self is as old as spiritual traditions that attempted to answer the question.

And get a lay of the land of the different worlds to be explored and some areas of illusion that get in the way of knowing your self.

It is this quest for personal integrity that forms the journey of the mythological hero. When you become self-aware and conscious you realize that you are a multi-dimensional being and you live in a multidimensional world. It can appear complicated and confusing at the start, but when you have awareness, life becomes clear and simple.

To know your self does not mean to define your self. Being completely authentic is not a process of declaration or creating your self in any way. Finding your self is more a process of discovery. In that process of discovery, you peel away all the layers of illusion and false self-images that interfere with knowing and feeling authentic.

#14: Free will

on July 1, 2007 January 17, 2022 214 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#14: Free will

00:00 / 29:28

Do you have free will? Is there even such a thing as free will? It is true that we are to some degree products of our environment. Our minds get filled with ideas, beliefs and emotional patterns as we grow up. We are socialized to become a collection of habits and behavior that correspond to the culture we grew up in.

Just how much does this make us live by an automatic program and how much of our own free choice remains? More importantly, can you regain your ability to choose and recover your personal will power so you can choose to be happy.

In this podcast I explore what free will is and whether a person has it. I also identify how people often delude themselves with the idea that they have free will.

For a quick measurement of your free will pick an emotion of happiness, gratitude, joy, or any other emotional state based in love. Then decide how long you want to feel that way. I suggest starting with a short period of time like one day. When you have an emotional reaction you will have either lost control over your choice, or lost control over your will power.

If you are going to recover your free will you are going to first have to admit when you don’t have it. This is a humbling step. However it is those with humility that shall inherit a new world of power.

For more on steps to take to recover and develop will power and create happiness in your life, download and listen to the free sessions in the Self Mastery Audio Program.

#13: How to tell if a relationship will work

on April 11, 2007 January 17, 2022 311 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#13: How to tell if a relationship will work

00:00 / 38:11

How can you tell if a relationship will work out? There are specific indicators to tell if your relationship will run into trouble down the road. The signs aren’t found in how much love, romance, or physical attraction there is. Two people can have great chemistry but still not be compatible.

How can you tell if your relationship will work out? You have to learn what the critical factors are and then develop a level of awareness to notice those factors. Many people will say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. This is true. However there are fundamental elements that form the basis for good communication. If you don’t have the elements to support sharing and listening it will fall apart down the road.

At the same time two people who haven’t studied relationship communication may think that they communicate well. However they may not know what they don’t know. Important steps to improving your relationship skills is to first admit what you don’t know and be willing to learn more.

In the best selling book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking author Malcolm Gladwell shares insights on determining how a relationship will turn out. Researcher John Gottman can predict with 95% accuracy whether a couple will be together in 15 years or not. What is impressive is that he can do that with only about 30 minutes of information. If you know what to look for, and have the awareness to see it when it is in front of you, you can tell a lot about a person and their relationships. Probably the most important place that we can use this awareness and insight is in our own relationships.

In this episode I share my perspective on important ingredients in a healthy relationship. How to tell if a relationship will work out or whether it is headed for the rocks. I had recorded it before I read Gladwell’s book and it was interesting to note some of the similar themes.

What Gladwell doesn’t cover in the book is how to go about changing the sabotaging behaviors that destroy relationships. Robert Gottman might know how to do this. However he might have spent all his time learning the indicators that he hasn’t spent time developing a cure for relationship drama.

If you are interested in cleaning up the emotional drama and conflict from your relationship I suggest listening to and practicing the activities in the Self Mastery Audio Course.

It will help you identify and become aware of those tell tale signs that make a relationship work, and the signs that help determine if you should be looking elsewhere. More importantly it will give you the tools to change the attitudes, emotions, and behaviors you may not have been aware of before.

#12: Don’t take anything personally

on February 23, 2007 January 17, 2022 375 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#12: Don't take anything personally

00:00 / 23:56

In the book, The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz outlines a code of conduct for creating love and happiness in your life. One of his Four Agreements is “Don’t Take Anything Personally”. In this episode, I describe some of the hidden assumptions that cause us to take things personally. I then explain how to stop taking things personally by shifting these interpretations. The first step is to identify these automatic assumptions and then by replacing them with new assumptions closer to the truth.

It isn’t as easy as it seems. We have been conditioned over years to react emotionally in certain patterns. This is particularly true of people that we perceive to be of authority.

Listening to this podcast won’t give you immunity from emotional reactions. It will tell you what specific issues in the mental and emotional programming of the mind to be changed. I share an alternative interpretation of how to perceive critical comments that will help.

If you are seriously interested in how to stop taking things personally and stop unwanted emotional reactions begin by practicing the exercises in the Self Mastery Course.

#11: The ego mind and consciousness

on January 28, 2007 January 17, 2022 1,411 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#11: The ego mind and consciousness

00:00 / 54:15

The ego definition, mind, and consciousness

In a Four Agreements workshop I shared a model for understanding consciousness and the ego mind. I recorded the workshop and part of it makes up this episode.

Understanding the ego mind and understanding consciousness means becoming aware of the way our mind dreams. The ego mind has more than just thoughts and beliefs; it has emotions, memories, visual images and a life of its own. When we believe what our imagination dreams we can get lost in a world of illusions and emotions that have no basis in reality. This is what happens if we don’t have self awareness. We lose our happiness.

What You’ll Find In This Episode on The Ego Definition, Mind, and Consciousness:

In this episode, I touch upon fear and how we create resistance and obstacles to change and why some self help approaches don’t work. How your mind sabotages efforts for self improvement. However, because this is only a podcast and not a video cast you don’t get my wonderful illustrations and pictures of the mind to help with your understanding.
I also cover how we can go from one emotional reaction to another very quickly in our mind. How we end up judging our self for judging our self. I cover the importance of being the observer in stopping emotional reactions of the mind and how awareness is the key to awakening this observer consciousness.

When you understand this, being a Spiritual Warrior and their quest to be free of the mind and emotional reactions makes a lot more sense. I even touch upon the topic of death and how we can use a ceremony to free ourselves from the ego mind and from its’ chatter and emotional reactions.

An Ego Definition example:

As consciousness we can perceive so many things in our mind from so many points of view. Understanding this capacity as consciousness to perceive in multiple dimensions is a helpful step in dealing with our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional reactions. It can help to realize that we are not going crazy as our consciousness expands through our personal and spiritual growth.

Miguel Ruiz mentions in the back of the Four Agreements that the next steps to take are awareness and to make an inventory of your core beliefs. These are important undertakings if one is to really live the principles of the Four Agreements. Exercises for increasing awareness and how to effectively make an inventory of beliefs are two of the items you will learn in the Self Mastery online course. These are two steps that people usually ignore, and is why they continue to struggle with emotional reactions and taking this personally.

What I cover about the ego mind and consciousness isn’t new. It has been taught by many teachers in many traditions. I’ve only attempted to repackage it here in a language of common sense. Living a life of happiness is simple. We don’t need a lot of knowledge. We just need to dissolve the sabotaging stories and false beliefs in the mind so that we can focus our attention where and how we choose.

May happiness fill all the days of your life.

#10: Can you change your life

on January 1, 2007 January 17, 2022 182 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#10: Can you change your life

00:00 / 34:34

I often get asked if people can really change their life. They want to known if they can overcome fears, stop the judgments, and quiet the voice in their head. The answer is yes. However, when people ask, they usually ask with such fear and doubt that almost no amount of words will suffice. Perhaps this interview will help overcome some of those doubts. When you hear about other people making changes in their life, it can help you not believe some of the doubts and fears in the mind.

In this episode I interview one of my self mastery audio course subscribers, Holly, who went to work making changes in her emotional state. She not only wanted to rid her self of fear and judgments, she also wanted to get rid of old coping and compensating strategies that she spent so much energy on. Holly call those energy draining strategies “Murphy-Proofing”. Holly was about 8 1/2 months into taking real action when we did this interview. I think you will agree that it is possible to change your self and your life. If Holly can do it, then you can do it.

To some people it might sound as if I am podcasting an infomercial. It just turned out that we ended up talking about a process that worked for her. I didn’t do the podcast to claim that my program will work for everyone or that everyone should do it and how great it is. I did this show because I so often get asked questions from people in fear and doubt about whether they can really make changes in their life. Is it really possible to be happy? It might take some effort and some actions that are unfamiliar, and maybe even uncomfortable, but it can be done. It is possible to change the emotional quality of your life and your relationships. It’s possible to be happy.

#09: Fear of love and happiness

on December 1, 2006 January 17, 2022 247 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#09: Fear of love and happiness

00:00 / 29:07

It might be hard to believe that we fear love and happiness, but it is a real dynamic that happens in the mind. It is easier to understand if we consider the mind to be a living being with many different aspects. If we attempt to change our beliefs and behavior, then we are making changes to our personality. We are essentially killing off false self images of our personality. These aspects and self images have a life of their own like any living being. They might very well respond with resistance and objection as any living being would to death.

Those habits that we seek to let go of fight to stay alive in our personality. When they react with fear to their impending end, we often mistake that fear as our own fear. We might feel as if we are somehow going to die and that is uncomfortable. In this way we resist change, even if the change will lead us to greater love and happiness.

Spiritual and religious traditions have often created ceremony and rituals around the death of false self images to help people move through this process. The bottom line is that if we wish to make changes in our behavior and happiness, we will need to let go of aspects of our personality and be willing to let them die. That process brings up a fear that we may be uncomfortable with. In order to make real change towards happiness and love in our lives we will need the skills to deal with this fear of change. This begins with awareness of what we are dealing with.

#08: Fear and overcoming fear

on November 15, 2006 January 17, 2022 286 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#08: Fear and overcoming fear

00:00 / 29:07

Overcome fear by gaining mastery over your core beliefs

Fear is that emotional force that drives us in a direction away from joy, happiness, and love. Fear can paralyze us to the point that we feel helpless and suffocated. Often fear appears irrational, but it only looks this way at the surface. When you scrutinize the stories and agreements you generally find a logical dynamic in the mind. The trouble is that while the fearful logic is rational, the core beliefs at their foundation are not logical at all. It is the core beliefs that are irrational.

If you have a desire to permanently overcome fear, then you will need to address the false core beliefs at their foundation.

Fear of public speaking isn’t about speaking in public. It isn’t even about fear of failing, looking like an idiot, or other people judging you. Failing, performing poorly, or other people’s opinion of us doesn’t hurt. There is no emotional pain in any of these aspects. However these events often trigger us to judge and reject ourselves. It is self rejection that is emotionally painful. The pain we seek to avoid is the pain of self rejection. The fear of public speaking is really a fear of triggering our own self rejection.

Self rejection is an act based on core beliefs about a false self image.

When you gain mastery over your beliefs you no longer believe stories of self rejection that occur in your imagination. With Self Mastery you accept and love yourself just the way you are, no matter what. With self acceptance you have immunity from emotional pain. Without the threat of emotional pain you no longer have a reason to fear. By practicing self acceptance you are no longer afraid of expressing yourself or failing. You give your self permission to try something new. You are not afraid of what others think about you. You are not even afraid of what you will think of yourself. No matter what happens you will not reject yourself. When you no longer hurt your self in this way many of your fears go away.

Complete acceptance and unconditional love for your self will allow you to overcome your fears.

#07: Identify and change core beliefs

on October 31, 2006 January 17, 2022 536 Views

Awareness and Consciousness Podcast

#07: Identify and change core beliefs

00:00 / 22:28

What are core beliefs and how do you identify them? That’s what many people are realizing they need to do to change their emotional reactions. The problem is where do you look to find core beliefs? They are in the mind but can be hard to pin down, particularly when it is the mind that we use to go looking for them. The mind has difficulty identifying and recognizing itself much the same way that the eye doesn’t see itself.

If you want to find and change your core beliefs begin with the internal dialogue. That’s the stuff you think and hear in your mind when you are all by yourself. Pay particular attention to the comments and stories that have a lot of emotional charge around them. You are likely to find the bigger core beliefs in the topics that have more emotional reactions.

Once you write down the internal dialogue you then go back and decipher the structure and meanings behind those words. A comment as simple as “I’m disappointed with my performance” has a number of imbedded beliefs beyond just the obvious.

There are criteria in the mind that we hold of how well we “should” have performed. Call these expectations. In the beginning they are often hidden until we have an emotional reaction and go looking for them.
The comparison of our self against this imaginary image is grounds for self rejection. This comparison is what the inner judge does.
We also have the belief that we deserve the self rejection that our inner judge is placing on us. This is a victim interpretation. If we didn’t at some level agree we wouldn’t accept this self judgment.
We might also hold the belief that emotional self rejection will somehow make us “better.” The idea that punishment will help us avoid a bad behavior in the future is usually learned very young. Motivation through self punishment is the dynamic the beliefs are dictating.
By this logic the more unhappy we become the successful we will be. Pretty twisted the mind is in creating unhappiness. The term “No Pain, No Gain” may work in the gym, but it is not a healthy way to exercise the mind.

In the process of identifying core beliefs it is prudent to include the characters of the judge and victim that create interpretations. They are a big part of how these core beliefs determine our emotional reactions, what we feel, and the actions we take.

When you really notice the logic of the belief system it’s any wonder why you would allow your mind to go making decisions and having emotional reactions without your oversight.

In this episode I introduce you to the idea of looking beyond the internal dialogue to find core beliefs that are at the source of emotional reactions and drama in relationships. But that is only part of the process. The real transformation happens when you change them.

How do you change core beliefs? I’ve managed to break that down into a simple process of many simple steps. It takes a little effort to learn and practice but once you know how to do it, it is simple. You can learn how to inventory and change core beliefs in the self mastery audio program . The first few sessions can be downloaded free just by signing up with an email address.