we have these strategies of giving a good impression and hiding the stuff we fear they will judge us for. And so our relationship is made “comfortable” in that space of keeping up a false impression and hiding our negative feelings and thoughts. However, it’s not comfortable long-term living in these masks and false versions of our self. Certainly not with our intimate partner. We can’t keep the facade on all the time. It’s exhausting. It’s going to break down.
Figuring out the truth isn’t straightforward. Consider this; the mind is the mechanism that we use to discern the truth. However, this is the same mind that generates stories, false narratives, daydreams, and fictional realities in our heads. These two uses of the mind are contradictory. It’s no wonder people are having difficulty seeing the difference between truth and a made-up story.
Where do you start making changes when you are overwhelmed with emotions? Understanding the deep sources of emotions help us move into compassion, and decrease the impact of the Inner Judge. Beginning steps include acknowledging where you are, accepting it, and then finding one small change to get you started.
By sitting in silence and observe you will get a clearer view of what is going on inside. You might need some help with overcoming limiting beliefs and initial resistance, but once you do meditation will be an invaluable friend on your journey to self awareness.
I have found with my clients that they can make much faster progress in removing negative thoughts and emotions if they first relax their nervous system. It turns out that slowing things down allows you…
This podcast will guide you through a breathing practice using specific techniques to relax your nervous system and brain. There are reasons that breathing techniques can help you relax. Breathing. When done properly it bypasses your intellect and directs your nervous system to switch off the tension and hyper-vigilance. This is something that you can’t do by thinking better thoughts or trying to be positive.
The critical voice in your head telling you whether you are succeeding or failing at things is actually pretty stupid. It sounds smart, acts confident, and pretends to be an expert. However, it hasn’t actually done any of the things it is criticizing you about.
Self loathing is a strong hatred towards oneself. You will also find with it a lot of internal thoughts of criticism and self judgment. Underneath that there will be a layer of beliefs relating to worthlessness.
From Seeker to Finder Discovering Every Day Happiness by George Kimeldorf I’ve been alive 25,567 days. That is a long time. All I have ever wanted during that time was to be happy-nothing more….
Does Self Acceptance Diminish or Lessen the Desire for Personal Growth? Do we stop evolving if we really become accepting of our self? Dear Gary, I just wanted to ask you how one can balance…
Greetings Gary, I approach you with a curious question: Have you ever made any sort of “list of approved things to say”?… After listening to a few of your sessions and reading some books I started to…
What does resistance look like and how do you navigate around it to make changes in your self? Jamie is one of the most persistent people at doing personal change work that I know. She also resists change, happiness and unconditional love more than just about anyone I know.
Attempts to develop confidence often fail because they revolve around projecting a positive self image or achieving success. Unfortunately these two things don’t eliminate other beliefs causing feelings of insecurity.
To effectively change the thoughts and beliefs we beat our self up with it is important to look at the problem differently. That’s what I do in this episode on what specifically happens when you are “beating yourself up”.
Avoiding Your Near Enemy Any good tool, technique, practice, or philosophy, can help you out of suffering and into greater happiness and love. When that tool, technique, practice, or philosophy is taken too far, it…