#13: How to tell if a relationship will work

 

 

How can you tell if a relationship will work out? There are specific indicators to tell if your relationship will run into trouble down the road. The signs aren’t found in how much love, romance, or physical attraction there is. Two people can have great chemistry but still not be compatible.

How can you tell if your relationship will work out? You have to learn what the critical factors are and then develop a level of awareness to notice those factors. Many people will say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. This is true. However there are fundamental elements that form the basis for good communication. If you don’t have the elements to support sharing and listening it will fall apart down the road.

At the same time two people who haven’t studied relationship communication may think that they communicate well. However they may not know what they don’t know. Important steps to improving your relationship skills is to first admit what you don’t know and be willing to learn more.

In the best selling book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking author Malcolm Gladwell shares insights on determining how a relationship will turn out. Researcher John Gottman can predict with 95% accuracy whether a couple will be together in 15 years or not. What is impressive is that he can do that with only about 30 minutes of information. If you know what to look for, and have the awareness to see it when it is in front of you, you can tell a lot about a person and their relationships. Probably the most important place that we can use this awareness and insight is in our own relationships.

In this episode I share my perspective on important ingredients in a healthy relationship. How to tell if a relationship will work out or whether it is headed for the rocks. I had recorded it before I read Gladwell’s book and it was interesting to note some of the similar themes.

What Gladwell doesn’t cover in the book is how to go about changing the sabotaging behaviors that destroy relationships. Robert Gottman might know how to do this. However he might have spent all his time learning the indicators that he hasn’t spent time developing a cure for relationship drama.

If you are interested in cleaning up the emotional drama and conflict from your relationship I suggest listening to and practicing the activities in the Self Mastery Audio Course.

It will help you identify and become aware of those tell tale signs that make a relationship work, and the signs that help determine if you should be looking elsewhere. More importantly it will give you the tools to change the attitudes, emotions, and behaviors you may not have been aware of before.