we have these strategies of giving a good impression and hiding the stuff we fear they will judge us for. And so our relationship is made “comfortable” in that space of keeping up a false impression and hiding our negative feelings and thoughts. However, it’s not comfortable long-term living in these masks and false versions of our self. Certainly not with our intimate partner. We can’t keep the facade on all the time. It’s exhausting. It’s going to break down.
Posts Taggedacceptance
Steps to Love and Accept Yourself
My friend Robert had a plaque on his desk. It was a play on the word “Savior”. It read: Savyour Self. What is Self Acceptance and Self Love? It’s kind of the opposite of…
#69 Self Awareness – Why do people believe crazy lies, conspiracy theories, and illusions?
Figuring out the truth isn’t straightforward. Consider this; the mind is the mechanism that we use to discern the truth. However, this is the same mind that generates stories, false narratives, daydreams, and fictional realities in our heads. These two uses of the mind are contradictory. It’s no wonder people are having difficulty seeing the difference between truth and a made-up story.
#62 Overwhelmed with Emotions – Why am I so Angry?
Where do you start making changes when you are overwhelmed with emotions? Understanding the deep sources of emotions help us move into compassion, and decrease the impact of the Inner Judge. Beginning steps include acknowledging where you are, accepting it, and then finding one small change to get you started.
How meditation can help you get faster results with self mastery work
By sitting in silence and observe you will get a clearer view of what is going on inside. You might need some help with overcoming limiting beliefs and initial resistance, but once you do meditation will be an invaluable friend on your journey to self awareness.
How To Relax
I have found with my clients that they can make much faster progress in removing negative thoughts and emotions if they first relax their nervous system. It turns out that slowing things down allows you…
#58: How to Relax
This podcast will guide you through a breathing practice using specific techniques to relax your nervous system and brain. There are reasons that breathing techniques can help you relax. Breathing. When done properly it bypasses your intellect and directs your nervous system to switch off the tension and hyper-vigilance. This is something that you can’t do by thinking better thoughts or trying to be positive.
The World is a Crazy Place
My client is 25. The other day his mom started yelling at him again. Yes, this is part of a crazy world where adults still do this. What was different was that this time he…
#57: Critical voice in your head
The critical voice in your head telling you whether you are succeeding or failing at things is actually pretty stupid. It sounds smart, acts confident, and pretends to be an expert. However, it hasn’t actually done any of the things it is criticizing you about.
#52: Self loathing
Self loathing is a strong hatred towards oneself. You will also find with it a lot of internal thoughts of criticism and self judgment. Underneath that there will be a layer of beliefs relating to worthlessness.
I Don’t Feel Lovable
The issue of Not Feeling Lovable came up a couple times recently. It’s a common belief, and it comes with a feeling, sometimes a very strong feeling. Recently a woman who was given up for…
Happiness Every Day
From Seeker to Finder Discovering Every Day Happiness by George Kimeldorf I’ve been alive 25,567 days. That is a long time. All I have ever wanted during that time was to be happy-nothing more….
Self Acceptance vs Personal Growth
Does Self Acceptance Diminish or Lessen the Desire for Personal Growth? Do we stop evolving if we really become accepting of our self? Dear Gary, I just wanted to ask you how one can balance…
What Is Ego?
What is Ego? The ego is the identity concept our mind constructed. It is an identity that is false. We are more than just the mind and the ego. If we take all the beliefs…
Good Things to Say
Greetings Gary, I approach you with a curious question: Have you ever made any sort of “list of approved things to say”?… After listening to a few of your sessions and reading some books I started to…
#44: Persistence and resistance
What does resistance look like and how do you navigate around it to make changes in your self? Jamie is one of the most persistent people at doing personal change work that I know. She also resists change, happiness and unconditional love more than just about anyone I know.
#43: Overcoming insecurity and develop confidence
Attempts to develop confidence often fail because they revolve around projecting a positive self image or achieving success. Unfortunately these two things don’t eliminate other beliefs causing feelings of insecurity.
#42: Stop beating your self up
To effectively change the thoughts and beliefs we beat our self up with it is important to look at the problem differently. That’s what I do in this episode on what specifically happens when you are “beating yourself up”.
Near Enemy
Avoiding Your Near Enemy Any good tool, technique, practice, or philosophy, can help you out of suffering and into greater happiness and love. When that tool, technique, practice, or philosophy is taken too far, it…
#32: The most important thing for your happiness
Sometimes it helps to take a step back and have a sense of humor about the process of overcoming fears, identifying and changing core beliefs.