Finding the Force of Intent for Change What changes do you want to make? We can use anything as an example, get into better physical shape, eat healthier food, happier relationships, more free time, or…
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Love Is A Mystery
I was at a friends wedding recently and asked to share some words at their ceremony. I was inspired by the love and beauty of the preparations, and their devotion to each other and put…
The Problem With Perfection
My life didn’t change in one moment. I wish it had been that simple. For me, big changes happen over time in many steps. One particular issue that I needed to change showed up fairly…
I Don’t Feel Understood
Understanding and not feeling understood. Communication is a peculiar thing. We didn’t always have it. It only started to develop as a detailed set of grunts about 100,000 years ago. Over time our vocalizations have…
Ritual and Ceremony in Everyday Life
Why do I use ceremony and ritual in my process and at my events? The short answer is because it works. But that answer wouldn’t have sufficed for me when I started this inner work….
Ceremony to Change Beliefs
My Experience with Ceremony About the time I was discovering fears and false beliefs that I was living by I was also reading Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. I decided to create a…
Self Sabotage Disguised as Encouraging Words
“I should be practicing more than I am.” One of the most common sabotaging thoughts a person has is, “I should be doing more than I am.” It can sound like a statement of fact,…
Pursuing Perfection Hides Patterns of Self Sabotage
Self-Sabotage in the Pursuit of Perfection Perfection is the enemy of progress when it comes to learning something new. If you are trying to get things perfect, you end up focusing on all the things…
Voices In My Head
Is it normal to have voices in my head? Actually, yes. It does not mean you are crazy or need medication. From a separate interview about her backround: Jon Ronson: Let’s back up a…
How Change Happens
How Is Your Change Going To Happen? I had minor arthroscopic knee surgery a few months back. I visited a physical therapist afterwards to help with the recovery. He gave me a few exercises to…
Life Coach On The Today Show
People Search for Happiness on the Internet,,, and Find it. Tuesday December 31st on the NBC’s Today Show and later on MSNBC about Gary van Warmerdam’s website and coaching. Life coach Gary van Warmerdam shares…
What Is Worth Fighting For
Recently a client asked me, “Are there some things worth fighting for? It seems like all this work is about acceptance, and making peace, and being grateful. Do you just kind of roll over and…
I Don’t Feel Lovable
The issue of Not Feeling Lovable came up a couple times recently. It’s a common belief, and it comes with a feeling, sometimes a very strong feeling. Recently a woman who was given up for…
Free of Judgmental Thoughts
Living Without Judgmental Thoughts Several years ago, I spent the day with a friend from high school and her class of second graders. For physical education we went to the grass field and played a…
Better Relationship Communication Skills
Better communication in relationship means that you don’t have to trade emotional jabs and passive aggressive comments with our partner. Improving your communication skills will reap benefits in all your relationships for years of your life.
Insecurity and Depression
Hi Gary, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your incredible gift. I am 51 and have spent years and $$$ on trying to find the answer to my “problems”. I tried psychologists,…
Where Is The Best Place To Start ?
What is the best approach to take advantage of all this material? It can be a bit daunting once you start looking through the website and you might be wondering where you should start. So…
How I Stopped Reacting To Slow Drivers
Perspective of the Slow Driver Story I was in my twenties and home visiting my parents. My dad’s back was in bad shape, something that had happened a couple other times when I was…
Change Your Mind In Teotihuacan Mexico
How To Change What Is In Your Mind Every year I go on a kind of pilgrimage. My pilgrimage doesn’t involve praying to, or worshiping a deity. It’s a personal one of letting go of…
Self Sabotage
Hi Gary, My name is Patty and I just wanted to share with you something that happened in the past few days. You see, I am a senior veterinary student and I am preparing to…