There’s work to be done to improve our communication skills in relationships. Too often we end up feeling defensive, closing down, or snapping back with an emotional edge. Then the other person shuts down, withdraws, or snaps back at us in response. The result is that we end up exchanging toxic emotions with the person we want to be sharing love and enjoyment with. These videos introduce you to a different way to talk about what you need, and listen to your partner more effectively. Marshall’s voice is slow, but I think the content is worth some patient listening.
My Self Mastery course and Relationship Course material is principally directed at finding and dissolving the core beliefs that cause our emotional reactions and get in the way of good communication. However, even when you dissolve your old beliefs and emotional reactions, that doesn’t mean that you will somehow magically also develop good communication skills. Getting rid of the bad habits, doesn’t mean that you spontaneously create good ones. You don’t. To develop better communications skills that apply to any relationship takes practice.
I don’t have a course on this topic, but I want to introduce you to someone who does. Marshall Rosenberg developed Compassionate Communication. (also known as Non-Violent Communication or NVC) You may not think of your communication as “violent” but if you are trading jabs and emotions like anger and frustration, or can’t communicate because you have fears, then you can benefit from his communication approach. Marshall has broken down the elements of how to ask for what you want, and how to respond to someone that is upset or needy in a way that can address your feelings, as well as theirs.
How we can apply better communication to ourselves. It begins to understand what your own needs are, and how you think about things. Some of this work will involve time to understand, integrate, and make a part of programmed patterns of old. I’ve come to find that the investment of time is worth the effort, particularly when you consider that you will reap the rewards of better communication in all of your relationships for the rest of the years of your life.
A key requirement in communication is that we be understood. That also means that we need to understand the person we are listening to. If we don’t understand, or misinterpret what people say, they begin to see what they are sharing is a waste of time and eventually stop sharing at ally. Understanding someone is called empathy.
Communication in our personal intimate relationships often needs the most work. It is also the area that will benefit the most when we improve our skills.
This is the full workshop, with more questions and answers included.
If there wasn’t already a body of work that outlined so many of the issues that hamper quality communication, I would be compelled to develop it. The truth is that there is great material out there. These videos and audios are only a sample and not the only resource. CNVC.org has trainers and training’s throughout the world that can help improve your relationships skills. On your pathway to happiness in relationships you don’t need to stop here. You can go further.
You can order Marshall Rosenberg’s best selling book at Amazon or at other retailers.1