The following summarizes two guided conversations I had with my client John, and a voice in his head I call the Judge. You might be more familiar with the term inner critic. It’s the kind…
Browsing CategorySelf judgment
One essential key for changing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors
For change to happen you will need to see and appreciate progress that happens in small steps. If you are learning to play a musical instrument the inner Judge will think that success means getting…
The Inner Critic can be tamed
It would be nice if the Inner Critic, what I call the Judge, would go away in a one step process. That rarely happens. There have been a couple people that might have done it….
Damaging Effects of Criticism
If you want to change your life, consider this. Criticism is probably one of the most toxic and destructive things a human can do to themselves or another. Criticism and judgments are rejections. These include self-criticism…
Feeling Unworthy and Beliefs about Perfection
What constitutes your image of perfection? Take the judgmental thoughts you have and look at the criteria of expectation that is behind the judgment. In other words, what criteria do you have to attain in…
Overcoming Low Self Esteem and Insecurity
Want to know where your low self esteem and insecurities come from? It’s based on emotion, not self-image. To build self confidence and overcome low self esteem is to change how we feel emotionally about…
Conditional Love
How We Learned about Conditional Love I’m going to assume you had well adjusted parents. If you didn’t, then just amplify the impact of what you are reading here by the amount of extra drama…
Bad Thoughts
Janet has a memory of when she was about 3 years old. She followed her mom into her baby brother’s room. Mom picked up her brother from the crib and laid him on the changing…
The Perfectionist
Perfection can Inspire us to a goal, or be a demon in our head that makes us suffer. The Perfectionist is one of the voices in our head. It has the role of pointing out all…
Resistance to Change
There is supposed to be Resistance to the process. I didn’t set out to teach happiness directly, and if you follow what I teach you will probably notice that I don’t. I don’t focus on…
Stopping Negative Thoughts and Emotions
Adam wants to stop the negative thoughts and emotions of anxiety, insecurity, and frustration. But there is more to it than just thoughts and emotion. When you look closer you find there is something pushing…
Self Sabotage Disguised as Encouraging Words
“I should be practicing more than I am.” One of the most common sabotaging thoughts a person has is, “I should be doing more than I am.” It can sound like a statement of fact,…
Pursuing Perfection Hides Patterns of Self Sabotage
Self-Sabotage in the Pursuit of Perfection Perfection is the enemy of progress when it comes to learning something new. If you are trying to get things perfect, you end up focusing on all the things…
I Don’t Feel Lovable
The issue of Not Feeling Lovable came up a couple times recently. It’s a common belief, and it comes with a feeling, sometimes a very strong feeling. Recently a woman who was given up for…
Insecurity and Depression
Hi Gary, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your incredible gift. I am 51 and have spent years and $$$ on trying to find the answer to my “problems”. I tried psychologists,…
Self Sabotage
Hi Gary, My name is Patty and I just wanted to share with you something that happened in the past few days. You see, I am a senior veterinary student and I am preparing to…
Good Things to Say
Greetings Gary, I approach you with a curious question: Have you ever made any sort of “list of approved things to say”?… After listening to a few of your sessions and reading some books I started to…
I’m Not Grateful for Anything
Dear Gary I listened to your first Self Mastery session on Gratitude and I don’t think it will help me. In it you use the trigger question to remind our selves what we are grateful…
Judgement: What is it good for?
Hi Gary! I have been enjoying the Self Mastery Audio Series and am currently on Session 9: Emotions. Thank you for making such a wonderful program available. The Judging voice in my head has a…
I Should Be Further Along Than I Am
How many times in our process have we had the thought, “I should be further along than I am.” Really? To that comment I sometimes like to ask two questions, One: “In terms of percentage,…