I was at a friends wedding recently and asked to share some words at their ceremony. I was inspired by the love and beauty of the preparations, and their devotion to each other and put…
Browsing CategoryRelationships
I Don’t Feel Understood
Understanding and not feeling understood. Communication is a peculiar thing. We didn’t always have it. It only started to develop as a detailed set of grunts about 100,000 years ago. Over time our vocalizations have…
Life Coach On The Today Show
People Search for Happiness on the Internet,,, and Find it. Tuesday December 31st on the NBC’s Today Show and later on MSNBC about Gary van Warmerdam’s website and coaching. Life coach Gary van Warmerdam shares…
Better Relationship Communication Skills
Better communication in relationship means that you don’t have to trade emotional jabs and passive aggressive comments with our partner. Improving your communication skills will reap benefits in all your relationships for years of your life.
Good Things to Say
Greetings Gary, I approach you with a curious question: Have you ever made any sort of “list of approved things to say”?… After listening to a few of your sessions and reading some books I started to…
Love is Not Enough
I know the song by the Beatles, “Love is All you Need” but I’ve learned to stop looking for truth about life in song lyrics. For me personally, to be happy in life and relationships,…
Holiday Stress Reducer
The holidays are coming up. For many people that means a joyous time of added stress. What causes stress? A number of things can do it, but basically it comes down to a difference…
Criticizing Your Partner or the People You Love
Why do we say judgmental criticizing things to the person we love? Why we criticize our husband or wife and what we can do about it? Because we become so comfortable with that person that…
Your Role in Life
Archetypes A few years back I was at my bank withdrawing some money. My intention was to invest in the market. I was referred to one of their investment advisers who told me, “That’s dangerous.” …
Insecurity
Why we feel insecure In our mind we develop images of who we are. Our imagination develops a story of our self and we imagine our self in different roles. Those images and story roles…
Different Aspects of Love
Dear Gary, Generally I find I can either answer questions I have by listening to something you’ve already recorded or by simply realizing the question was bogus to begin with, but every so often I…
Feeling Trapped
We have cats. By their instinctive nature they chase things. Humans aren’t much different. Once in a while we will take out a pen sized laser pointer and put a red dot on the floor….
Can Compulsive Liars Change?
Compulsive Liars and how to deal with them The most important aspect to master when dealing with a liar is your emotional reactions. You can’t always change the behavior of a liar, but you can…
The Trap of Emotional Denial
The Meaning of Denial Do you know the meaning of denial? In my last post I talked about the Two Paths to Happiness. I’ll share a bit here about why it is important to actively…
Jealousy Question
Ask Gary, I wrote to you about a week ago about how my jealousy issue and how I have a problem with my girlfriends past, and how that is very hypocritical of me because my…
Understanding the Mirror of Relationships
Some people talk in the personal growth and new age circles about using relationship as a mirror to understand your self. I’ve seen this idea of a relationship mirror described in so many ways, often…
Controlling Relationships
What are some dynamics of an emotionally controlling relationship? I want to look beyond some of the of verbal criticism, put downs, and judgments that are the obvious elements of emotionally abusive and controlling relationships….
Insecurity in Relationships
Dear Gary, I just experienced this jealousy reaction. I have a girlfriend for a year now, but still struggle with the fact that sometimes I feel I’ve been giving in too much and that she’s…
Respect in Relationships
Gary, My lover consistently takes actions I feel are disrespectful and my reaction is that my desire to do loving things for her (sweet talk, flowers, even regular conversation) decreases dramatically. Q1 How do you…