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I’m David from Texas. I have gone through both the first and second Self Mastery Course. I was amazed and impressed with your understanding and insight to how miserable a person can be when your thoughts are weighing you down in darkness, and how hard it is to express to yourself or to others. The only way you could have that kind of insight is, if you had been through it yourself.
I am a Vietnam veteran who did not like life so much after I returned from war. I honestly believe that I had PTSD and was afraid to admit it. My thoughts were running away from me on autopilot, for so many years, that it became “normal” to think negatively. I always felt like I was never enough. Through all of these thoughts I continued life as if it was normal to feel jealous, to be afraid, to feel sad, to believe that no one loved me. There were times when I wanted to die from a car accident or an illness (beyond my control), so I wouldn’t have to think about killing myself. Life had become such a challenge to me. I had tried everything to make myself numb to life but nothing seemed to help.
I always thought of myself as being smart enough to figure this mess out on my own but just couldn’t. I have a MBA degree in business, I ran my own company, have a wife and two grown kids and am now semi-retired. Life really sucked for me and I never admitted to myself or anyone else, that I just couldn’t change it on my own…….so, I was just waiting around, to someday die of old age.
Your Self Mastery Course gave me a chance to try something different where other things just didn’t work for me. You gave me an answer that I was looking for that I had never considered. I had no idea that because of all the beliefs that I had created in my head, those beliefs were the source of all my misery. I finally made sense to me that I was the one, or my characters were the ones, that created all of those thoughts that I reacted to so emotionally. I finally had an answer. I wasn’t crazy.
Once I discovered the problem, then you gave me the tools to work on the solution.
Gary, you have probably been told this before, but you literally saved my life. My life is so different now than it was several years ago. The transition happened to me while I was busy doing the lessons, drills in your series, that I didn’t realize the changes that were happening to me. Sometimes I have to try to remember just how miserable I was, because of the difference I have experienced.
Also, your lesson on perfection in the second self mastery course was an eye opener for me because that was one of my basic problems. I was always looking for perfection. I thought you had to be perfect in order for anyone to love you. I now realize that perfection is just a concept and doesn’t exist. Nor do I have to strive for a concept of something that is not attainable. There is a lot of history that comes from those thoughts of perfection and I would be glad to share it with you someday but suffice it to say, you opened my eyes and more importantly, my mind. I finally had a reason for my misery, and a pathway out.
Again Gary, thank you for your insight, thank you for your courage to put something like this out there for someone like me to listen to, that changed my life. I do not believe things happen by accident and I believe that God put me in your path so I could find pathway to happiness.
I am not naive enough to think that this is the end of my journey. Life happens every day and as long as we have thoughts, there will always be an opportunity to choose happiness over misery. I realize the happiness happens every day and it is my responsibility to choose happiness. I look forward to every day, living in the present moment.
With great respect, appreciation and gratitude,
David from Texas.