Changing Your Point of View

Oh what a difference a point of view makes…

Dear Gary,

I have an experience to share instead of asking a question this time.

I was doing the journal exercise and looking at a particularly intense recent emotional experience. I sensed that I was hitting on some very strong beliefs and even though I could journal out a lot of what was going on in my head, assign it to the various parts of my ego, I still found myself stuck in that point of view. The Judge concluded that I simply couldn’t make the agreements dissolve right then and there, and therefore, this was pointless. Through a chain reaction of agreements, it told me that I wasn’t going to figure this out. (I just got Session 11 of the Self Mastery Course, so I see that lie hidden in the vagueness there.)

The frustration built up as the Victim accepted all of those self-judgments, and–to borrow a metaphor you’ve used–the elastic bands began to pull me back into old habits. I went to try and sleep. I had gotten stuck in this unsolvable intellectual conundrum of whether or not I could bring a particular person back into my life. I felt intense fear that this person would not allow it.

Then a funny thing happened…. a shift in my point of view

My mind just shifted. I thought that no matter what happened in that situation, I could be grateful. I could be grateful the person considered my request; grateful that she would say yes; grateful that she’d say no; grateful that I had my past experiences with her and that my memory functioned enough just to be able to remember them. I could even go one step further: to be grateful that my mind had the ability to make me feel misery by entertaining false beliefs as being true. The emotion I felt was so powerful, it actually brought me to tears. I’ve never experienced anything like it. In that moment, I was so grateful, I couldn’t contain it in my self.

What is incredible to me about that situation is that I made no specific effort to shift into gratitude. It just happened. What is even more interesting is that I’ve had other less intense moments like this where I simply shift and see the same situation completely differently. I’m not going at it consciously and I didn’t set out that day to do that.

The emotion of the experience I described only lasted a short time, though. The elastic of old habits eventually pulled me back to a more familiar emotional state.

So, I don’t suppose I have a question for you today. I ask a lot of those and instead would just like to share an experience with someone who is going to appreciate the magnitude of what it meant to me.

And also, I’d like say your most recent podcast on breaking habits and addictions was a great listen. The metaphor of the elastic bands really helped put shifting one’s perspective into, well, a different perspective.

I’ve found that I really don’t have anyone in my day-to-day life that I can talk to about this process. While I know many wonderful caring people who will listen to me, they simply aren’t familiar with the ideas you’re presenting. I could explain them, but I feel they use up a lot of my personal power. This isn’t to say I feel lonely in this process. Rather, I understand that what I’m doing is immensely personal and that someone else isn’t readily going to understand what that experience means to me. I consider it my path and while some can help me keep an eye out for obstacles to expect, I know I’m the only one who can and will walk it.

Much gratitude, as always.

B. B.


A few thoughts on this course subscriber’s experience.

His emotions didn’t shift by accident. His emotions shifted because his point of view shifted. It didn’t shift in the moment of doing the Self Mastery exercises, but the exercises had a lot to do the change. The exercises helped knock down those walls so that he could slip easily through the opening when it was time.

Changing core beliefs, stopping the voices in your head, and shifting your emotions doesn’t usually happen the way you expect it. And that can be a good thing as long as you don’t let the expectations of your inner judge dictate your actions and intent.  Sometimes shifting your mind is like one of those tricky puzzles.  You work at it, and work at it, and then, boom.  A new perspective opens up and you see the key that unlocks it.  The funny thing is that easy solution only seems to appear after you have put your hard work and effort into the change.