I got listened to and understood in a way that I felt important and valued. What I didn’t know was that this wasn’t an accident. The person listening to me was doing some very conscious and skillful things in their listening to help me have that experience.
we have these strategies of giving a good impression and hiding the stuff we fear they will judge us for. And so our relationship is made “comfortable” in that space of keeping up a false impression and hiding our negative feelings and thoughts. However, it’s not comfortable long-term living in these masks and false versions of our self. Certainly not with our intimate partner. We can’t keep the facade on all the time. It’s exhausting. It’s going to break down.
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