Dear Gary,

Generally I find I can either answer questions I have by listening to something you’ve already recorded or by simply realizing the question was bogus to begin with, but every so often I stumble on something that lingers.

I believe I’ve mentioned a girl I have pretty strong feelings for. I had *a lot* of agreements about relationships and love that I’ve had to cut through, but I’ve noticed I don’t feel the same about those subjects as I did before. The mind will try to pull me into drama over little things, but it does succeed very often anymore.

But I do notice the feeling itself is different. I’ve noticed a lot more love in my every day experience, but the way I feel for this girl is just… Different. I enjoy the feeling and no longer believe I have to stop feeling it because we aren’t involved romantically.

So I suppose I’m asking if love is a feeling that has–for lack of a better term–different flavors or colors. I wouldn’t consider this question particularly necessary to answer, but it leaves me curious.

Thanks again.

Degrees of Love

Dear Degrees of Love,

Love has many varying flavors, and degrees of intensity.  Every musical note, sound, and voice can have a different quality of love. It is endless.  Each color, plant, animal can have a different emotional quaility.  This is why there are many aspects of happiness.  Sometimes is is an uproarious laughter, and sometimes it is a quite state of compassion and acceptance.  Both are pleasant, but in different ways.

As you cut through the agreements about relationships (beliefs usually of need)  we find out our neediness changes.   Our love becomes more generous and less selfish.  Our desire is for the people we love to be happy and there is less and less need that they have to be with us.   This is a more unconditional love.